Confessions of a College Dropout

What Happens When You Run So Far You End Up Right Where You Started?

May 16, 2025

Don’t shoot the messenger but if you dropout of college you’ll be okay. The world won’t end, you’ll continue on, and you’ll find a new path. Will it be hard? Well that depends. Do you have the tenacity to forge your own way? Do you have the work ethic to prove your worth without a degree attached? Do you have the creativity to invent the uninvented? To travel down the road less traveled? If you answered yes unfortunately it will still be hard but you’ll have the panache1 to pull off something even more precious than those marching along the common path.

I know, I know, I know, I say this with all the privilege in the world. My complete ethnicity may be a bit of a mystery but I’m for sure white and treated differently than my siblings are that aren’t. My family isn’t rich, in fact there were numerous times growing up when utilities were shut off. But they’ve always supported me, caught me when I fell, and provided assistances to move into the next phase. Overall, I had a pretty fabulous and enriching schooling K through 12 surrounded by highly educated people. And with education currently under attack I don’t mean to lessen the importance of it. Literally the crux of almost all the strife in the world is due to a lack of real and good education. Listen I’m not promoting dropping out, I’m just saying, society has conditioned you to think that a traditional degree is the extent of your worth and the only way to appropriately contribute to said society.

I have no aspirations to be a doctor, or teacher, or lawyer, or scientist. Careers that hold other peoples lives and futures in their hands aren’t for me. I’m more of a past girl. Looking into history, analyzing the patterns, connecting the dots of those that came before is more my speed. Which is still something you can and probably should go to school for. Because what is “school”? It’s a place where you can learn from those with more experience and knowledge, well in theory. But is “school” confined to a 4 wall building? Is learning determined by how much you pay? No, because honestly most of the skills I have are self taught. And the pythagorean theorem has never come handy.

I spent 2 years or 4 semesters at The University of Arizona. Then 1 semester at Owens Community College. Like most of life, dropping out wasn’t necessarily planned. It just kind of happened. You have to understand I was 4.0 student. Honors and AP classes. School was easy for me. I didn’t try, I never studied, the english essays I’d crank out during the actual english class always got A’s. It felt like a super power in high school, but it was my downfall when I got to the University of Arizona. My mental health deteriorating, no concern whether I lived or died, and no tools to actually get through school. I quickly realized I couldn’t bullshit here, the professors saw through me, but I didn’t know how else to be.

Sophomore year in Tucson was tumultuous. I remember driving across the country with my grandpa to move me into my sophomore apartment. As soon as we got into the city of Tucson there was this feeling inside me, my intuition telling me, staying here will bring no good. I wanted to turn around but we’re already here. I probably should have turned around. By the end of that year I knew my time in Arizona was over. I was lost, depressed, anxious, undiagnosed, unmedicated, and traumatized. I didn’t like school. It was chore I didn’t want to do, so when I couldn’t reregister for a second semester at Owens my junior year till I paid off Fall tuition I jumped at the chance to get out of school. Luckily, I was able to get a job at the school my mom was the principal at and the rest was history.

Now you must understand the opportunities that followed were not handed to me. I worked my ass of as the receptionist and when the office manager position opened up it made sense for me to take it. My mom is not a push over. Her Capricorn rising is in full effect at work, especially as the school leader. So if I wasn’t pulling my weight, doing what was expected, and more. She would not have promoted me. I understood for better or worse I was a constant reflection of her. After working there for 3 years, leveling up and getting more responsibility, I decided I wanted more. So I took 10 months to to study real estate, passed the exam on the first try, and now I was set on a new course. I was good at real estate. I love architecture, I love helping people, I love doing social media stuff. It was fun but not meant to last forever, I could talk about that more in a different post. But because of the work experience I gained I was able to easily get a great paying managerial position that allowed me to move back to DC.

I spent the last 7 years networking, learning, and proving my worth all in an effort to not have to go back to school. And while that’s enough for me I hear often “It’s really a shame you never finished school” or “There’s no reason a girl like you shouldn’t have a degree” and yet the reasons are a mountain I’ve suffocated under.

The depression, anxiety, trauma, executive dysfunction weren’t compatible with the traditional degree path. But what I’ve accomplished without it, some people could never even comprehend. The tenacity to continue improving and excelling in my life without a degree is actually a bigger accomplishment to me. I’ve built a beautiful life, I’m one of the happiest people I know, and there is joy in breaking out of the mold. Removing yourself from a predetermined track. Resisting being herded into the confines of the ideal worker bee for the hive.

No I don’t need a degree. But with all that said, I’ve also worked my ass off to climb that mountain that kept me under. And now that I’ve conquered it, I realized I now have the tools to go and do school and do it well. Now learning in a classroom with other people that are also learning is something I’m craving. I ran so far that now I’m back where I started: going back to school. Not because I feel empty without a degree, not because I feel less then, not to please anyone in my life. But because I want to and there are things I’m ready to pursue that do require learning and refining skills I already have. Will I finish this time? Honestly I don’t know! We’ll see. For now this is where my intuition is leading and it’s never strayed me wrong.

xoxo,
Ali Ann

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